Posts

Presidential Joke Day

/0 Comments/in

presidential joke dayToday is Presidential Joke Day. On August 11, 1984, while preparing to give a weekly radio address from his ranch in California, Ronald Reagan was asked to do a routine sound check.

Although the president enjoyed telling jokes about Russia, on that morning, his remark was meant only for the sound engineers getting ready for the National Public Radio broadcast. Instead of counting “one, two, three” and so on, the president said:

My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation which will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.

The comment was captured on tape and leaked to the media, then the world. NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw reported that on August 15, 1984, a coded message sent from Soviet headquarters placed troops on wartime alert, stating, “We now embark on military action against the U.S. forces.”

The alert was withdrawn 30 minutes later, after ships in the North Pacific contacted headquarters to question their orders. The official word from the Kremlin claimed that someone in the Far Eastern Command had declared a state of war without authorization.

Some U.S. officials believed the Soviet government had sanctioned the action to retaliate against Reagan’s offensive words. Others thought it was a joke. One speculated the culprit had been drunk. We’ll never know because the guilty party was never revealed.

Setting aside its questionable humor value, we must conclude that Ronald Reagan’s joke is the most powerful ever told because the hard feelings it engendered could have caused a nuclear war.

Hear the quip here. Have a happy Presidential Joke Day and remember: Always, always, always assume the mic is live and don’t say anything you wouldn’t want to hear on the six o’clock news!

World Middle Finger Day

/1 Comment/in

Today is World Middle Finger Day, created in 2012 by Charles Greene to encourage everyone to exercise their right to peaceful protest with a universal gesture of defiance.

Greene chose August 1st because it falls between July 4th and September 11, two dates that inspire nationalistic fervor. World Middle Finger Day acknowledges the value of dissent.

World Middle Finger Day has an official anthem. The music video stars adorable puppets, but be warned: it isn’t family-friendly. Your child’s preschool teacher will never believe he learned that rude gesture from a puppet.

Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Don’t just stand there blubberin’, feeling sad and blue.
C’mon, pull yourself together, ’cause there’s something you can do:

Give them the finger, give them the finger, the middle one on either of your fists.
Give them the finger, give them the finger, and do it with a flippin’ of the wrist.

Though you’ll never be forgiven, it’s the finger that you’re giving ’em,
But life’s worth living after all—

Give them the finger, give them the finger:
Feeling good, feeling better, walking tall!

Happy World Middle Finger Day!

Leap Year Only Flitch Day

/0 Comments/in

July 9, 2025: Flitch Day awards a side of bacon to a couple still in love after a year and a day of marriage. It is only celebrated every leap year, so the next one will take place in 2028. Here’s the post for last year, which was a momentous occasion.

flitch day

Flitch bearers, 2016

July 9, 2024: Today is Flitch Day, a custom dating back to 1104 in a village in Essex, England.

First, a little background is in order. A flitch is half a pig, cut lengthwise, salted and cured, also known as a full side of bacon. The story goes that a year and a day after their nuptials, Lord Reginald Fitzwater and his wife disguised themselves as peasants and traveled to the local monastery to beg blessings for their happy marriage.

The monk who received them was so impressed by their devotion that he gave them a flitch. In what could be called the first episode of Undercover Boss, Lord Fitzwater revealed his identity and promised his land to the monastery. He had one condition: the monks must award a flitch to any couple who could prove their love after a year and a day. (Who better to judge marital bliss than men who’ve taken a vow of chastity?)

The word of the tradition, known as the Dunmow Flitch Trials, spread. Author William Langland referred to it in his 1362 book, The Vision of Piers Plowman. In the early 15th century, Geoffrey Chaucer alluded to it in The Canterbury Tales.

Records weren’t kept until 1445, when Richard Wright of Norwich was victorious, according to documents preserved in the British Museum. One hundred years later, King Henry VIII closed the monasteries, but the trials endured, overseen by the current Lord of the Manor.

In 1832, George Wade, Steward of Little Dunmow, declared the contest “an idle custom bringing people of indifferent character into the neighborhood.” The Dunmow Flitch Trials declined in popularity and eventually lapsed entirely.

The custom was revived following the success of Harrison Ainsworth’s novel, The Flitch or The Custom of Dunmow, published in 1854. In it, he told the tale of a man so desperate to win the flitch that he married a succession of wives to find his perfect match.

Dunmow Flitch Trial winners, 2024

The event has been held in Great Dunmow ever since. After World War II, it was decided that the trials would only take place in leap years. Luckily, 2024 is such a year. This year’s celebration is especially important because Emma Hynds and Emma D’Costa, who have been married for under two years, have become the first same-sex couple to win the flitch. The rest of us have four more years to perfect our marriages. Or we could just buy a side of bacon and call it a day.

Did the phrase “bring home the bacon” originate with this contest? Though many believe so, we may never be certain. By the way, losers aren’t sent home empty-handed. They receive a consolation prize of gammon, the hind leg of a pig. The one thing we know for sure is that this is no fun for the pigs.

Happy Flitch Day!

World Sauntering Day

/1 Comment/in
world sauntering day

Grand Hotel porch: made for rockin’ and strollin’

Today is World Sauntering Day, also known as International Sauntering Day. Initially conceived as a curative to the scourge of jogging, this holiday is perfect for our age of screens and short attention spans.

The first official saunter reportedly took place at Michigan’s Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island. Participants strolled across the 660-foot porch, which the hotel claims is the longest in existence.

W.T. Rabe invented the holiday in 1979 in response to what he saw as an alarming rise in the popularity of jogging. He saw World Sauntering Day as a way to counteract the tendency to rush through life, to remind people to slow down and enjoy themselves.

“You don’t care where you’re going, how you’re going, or how long it takes to get there,” Rabe explained. “The idea is to smell the roses and to pay attention to the world around you.”

That wasn’t Rabe’s first contribution to the world of wacky holidays. In 1976, as public relations director for Lake Superior State University (LSSU), he created the Banished Words List. (Its full name is List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-Use, Over-Use or General Uselessness.) The college receives nominations for banishment from around the world, encompassing all manner of words and phrases worthy of exile.

W.T. Rabe passed away in 1992. We wonder if he had any idea just how prescient his tongue-in-cheek creation was; how much we would all need to pause, look up from our screens, forget the to-do list, and amble, mosey, and sashay through our day.

Happy World Sauntering Day!