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March 23 is Cuddly Kitten Day

Today is Cuddly Kitten Day. We have been unable to locate its creators and can only assume they felt there were not enough photos, videos, books, magazines and websites dedicated to felines already. Perhaps our profile of National Cat Day on October 29th fell short of their expectations, too.

A day like this can be very stressful at Worldwide Weird Holidays, requiring hours and sometimes days of in-depth research and debate about what renders a kitten irresistible. We have concluded that nearly everything except their hairballs and stinky litter is cute, although there are some statistical outliers who think even hairballs qualify if the kitten barfs them up them in an endearing way.

We present, for your enjoyment, a small selection of kitties:

Since it just happens to be National Puppy Day, too, we’re throwing in kittens with puppies. Awwww!

Happy Cuddly Kitten Day and National Puppy Day!

Copyright 2016 Worldwide Weird Holidays

March 20 is Extraterrestrial Abduction Day

extraterrestrial abduction day

artwork – happyworker.com

Today is Extraterrestrial Abduction Day. While we have been unable to identify the creator of this holiday, we can report the widespread belief that it was inspired by an Alien Abduction Day festival held on March 20, 2008, in Toronto, Canada. (It was never repeated. Could a mass abduction have caused the festival’s mysterious disappearance?)

Here are a few ways to celebrate Extraterrestrial Abduction Day:

  1. Host a Close Encounters of the Third Kind themed mashed potato sculpture contest.
  2. Hold a chili-cookoff after screening To Serve Man.
  3. Share: Tom Cruise’s $200 jeans, which his character couldn’t have afforded on a longshoreman’s salary, destroyed the believability of the War of the Worlds remake.
  4. Discuss: Aliens allergic to water, à la Signs, would never be dumb enough to try to take over a planet covered in, duh, water.
  5. Debate: J.J. Abrams—genius or jackwagon?

If one day is just not enough, don’t worry: you haven’t missed the (space) boat. The annual UFO Festival is held in McMinnville, Oregon, on a weekend in May. Lecturers in 2017 include Melanie Young, who quit her job as a nurse to prove that an unknown species had once existed peacefully with humans, a hypothesis she’d reached after someone gave her a weird-looking skull in 1998.

The keynote speaker in 2016 was Dr. Lynne Kitei, one of many witnesses to the “Phoenix Lights,” a mass sighting of five lights in the sky over Phoenix, Arizona on March 13, 1997. After seven years of silence, Kitei came forward, writing a book about her experience. She left her medical practice to tour the globe. It’s probably for the best: After sharing her own close encounter, how could she order a colonoscopy without her patients hearing “anal probe” and running for the door?

Copyright © 2017 Worldwide Weird Holidays

 

National Corndog Day

national corndog day

Corndog

National Corndog Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated each year on the first Saturday of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament.

Lauded as a gustatory miracle on par with Jesus’ loaves and fishes, National Corndog Day commemorates the day in 1992 when a box of meat-on-a-stick magically appeared in the freezer of two hungry basketball fans.

This eliminated their need to leave home to buy food and enabled them to continue watching March Madness uninterrupted. To this day, they insist they have no idea how the corndogs got in the freezer and attribute it to a higher power.

For those of you unfamiliar with the corndog or, as it is known in some circles, the corn dog, here is the Merriam-Webster dictionary’s definition:

a frankfurter dipped in cornmeal batter, fried, and served on a stick

 

March 18 is Awkward Moments Day

awkward moments

is for Awkward

awkward

adjective
US /ˈɔk·wərd/
1. difficult to use, do, or deal with:
The computer came in a big box that was awkward to carry.
2. causing inconvenience, anxiety, or embarrassment:
It was an awkward situation, because the restaurant was too expensive for us but we didn’t want to just get up and walk out.
3. Someone who feels awkward feels embarrassed or nervous:
We were the first to arrive at the party and felt a little awkward.
4. lacking grace or skill when moving:
He’s too awkward – he’ll never be a good dancer.

(Definition from Cambridge Academic Content Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)

hear pronunciation Warning: If you decide to listen to this  audio clip at the office, be warned that it is automatically followed by pronunciation of the word “pedophile.” That will not be easy to explain to Human Resources.

In honor of Awkward Moments Day, we’d like to offer a few examples of instances when you would gladly teleport onto the face of the sun to get away from the situation in which you find yourself.

You meet your boyfriend’s parents and, in the middle of dinner, realize you have a need to defecate that will not be denied. You excuse yourself to use their bathroom. When you finish, the toilet won’t flush. Panic-stricken, you flush again. The toilet overflows.

You keep telling your parents about a favorite show you’re sure they’ll love. When they visit, you queue it up on Netflix. Unfortunately, you forgot about the nudity and “sexposition”–when boring plot points are discussed while two or more people enjoy each other’s earthly wares. You might call it Game of Thrones Syndrome when you’re ready to laugh about it a decade from now. But most likely, never.

You’re on your way out when a neighbor gets on the elevator with you. You say hi and then stare at the door as if it’s so interesting it should be hanging in an art gallery. You purposely lag behind when getting off on the first floor, but she holds the front door open so you have to break into a half-jog to catch up. You say “thanks,” she says, “you’re welcome,” and turns away. You realize you’re going in the same direction.

After everyone else leaves and the boss is gone, you blast rap music through the office’s stereo system. The doorbell rings and you buzz the person in, figuring it’s a late delivery. But it’s a prospective client who’s stopped by to pick up information just as a song kicks in with, “Hey, m*f*, hey, m*f*, yo!” You scramble to turn it off, then pretend nothing happened, desperate that he do the same. After a minute that feels like an hour, he turns around and leaves.

Your debit card is rejected after the cashier has rung up a huge load of groceries. You start to sweat as you ask her to try again, stammering about how it must be a mistake, that you checked your balance just hours before. You try to ignore her facial expression as she puts your bags aside so you can run to the store’s ATM. Once there, you realize it’s not a mistake, and you can either go back, remove items and split payment between cash and the card…or run away and never shop there again.

You’re wheeling a cart stuffed with dirty clothes to the laundromat. As you cross the street, you see a cute guy walking toward you. You think he might be looking at you; you’re not interested but, still, it’s nice to be noticed. The cart abruptly halts as the wheels catch on the edge of the curb, and you walk into it, bashing your shins and falling over it as it tips over, spilling your underwear out onto the ground as the guy passes by. He never breaks stride.

Have a happy Awkward Moments Day!

Copyright © 2017 Worldwide Weird Holidays