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April 9 is Jenkins’ Ear Day

Today is Jenkins’ Ear Day, also known as Jenkins’s Ear Day. It commemorates an event that took place on April 9, 1731, and remains one of the strangest rationalizations for war in human history.

jenkins' ear dayIt’s difficult to find any time in the early 18th century when England and Spain weren’t at odds or war. At various points, diplomats were given the miserable task of trying to impose order. The Treaty of Utrecht of 1713 was one such attempt, signed as the War of Spanish Succession begun in 1700 wound down.

The agreement awarded England an exclusive 30-year contract to supply an unlimited number of slaves to the Spanish colonies. Although it allowed only 500 tons of goods per year, many traders, now able to weigh anchor for “legitimate” business purposes, used the opportunity to smuggle goods into and out of the Spanish colonies.

Skirmishes over trade and ongoing disputes about the contested land between the British colony of Georgia and Spanish-ruled Florida culminated in one of many Anglo-Spanish wars. Most historians agree it ran from 1727 to 1729; some say it began in 1726. With the level of hostility between the two nations, it was hard to tell when the war started.

In 1729, the Treaty of Seville was signed. One of its provisos gave the Spanish the right to board and search English vessels and to seize any contraband they found. It’s not surprising that mutual distrust and enmity resulted in the detainment and delay of many ships, regardless of suspicious activity. Captains began to report harrowing tales of abuse and theft of legal cargo.

One such incident occurred on April 9, 1731, when the crew of a Spanish sloop from Havana, Cuba, boarded the British ship Rebecca and claimed to have found contraband. Not much is known about Captain Robert Jenkins. In some accounts, he is described as a master mariner; in others, he is called a notorious smuggler.

Jenkins may or may not have been lashed to his ship’s mast and tortured by Spanish captain Juan de Leon Fandino. Someone drew his cutlass and sliced off Jenkins’ left ear. According to Jenkins’ account, the blade was not entirely successful in removing the ear. Another Spanish sailor then grabbed it, tore it off and handed it to Jenkins, who was told to present it to his king with the message that Fandino would do the same to him.

We can’t be sure of the details as we don’t know if anyone on the Rebecca spoke Spanish or Fandino’s crew, English. We assume it would have been hard for Jenkins to hear, what with only having the one ear and that most likely being filled with the sounds of his own screaming.

In any case, his traumatic auriculectomy didn’t garner much concern in Parliament, possibly because it was in no hurry to start a fresh war. Perhaps it wasn’t considered too upsetting because the cropping of ears (and noses) was a common punishment dating back to the Babylonian Code of Hammurabi in 1754 BC.

One case worth mentioning took place in 1538 when Englishman Thomas Barrie was pilloried in the Newbury town square. To intensify his humiliation, his ears were nailed to the pillory on either side of the head hole. At the end of the day, he was released by having his ears cut off. He later died of shock.

What was Barrie’s crime? He spread rumors that Henry VIII had died. This displeased the king, who was very much alive and not amused. Barrie was the proto-Twitter troll. Imagine if this punishment were still in use today. There would be a lot of people cupping their hands to their heads, saying, “What? What?”

Back to our story. In 1738, politicians sought to gain support for a new war. Victory was expected to provide new business opportunities in Spanish America in part by forcing Spain to honor (and renew) the slave trade treaty which would expire in a few years. They needed to drum up outrage to generate nationalistic fervor.

Jenkins was called to testify before the House of Commons. Apparently, he was still attached to his ear, although it was no longer attached to his body. Afterward, some stories claimed he took it from his pocket where it was wrapped in cotton wool. Others insisted he had pickled and stored it in a jar, which he held aloft so that every member of the august assemblage might be afforded an unimpeded view.

A flaw in this version of events is that parliamentary records, normally exhaustive, show only that he was called to appear on two separate occasions. Surely a man brandishing an ear would have been noticed. Even without the visual aid, his visit would almost certainly have been documented, especially when it was to be used for political purposes.

It’s more likely that he was at sea. He was a ship’s captain, after all. If he returned after the war began in 1739, he wouldn’t have been amazed, as some histories suggest, to find the conflict was named after his ear. It didn’t become known as the War of Jenkins’s Ear until Thomas Carlyle coined the term in 1858, 110 years after it concluded.

Have a happy Jenkins’ Ear Day!

Copyright © 2017 Worldwide Weird Holidays

 

March 22 is International Talk Like William Shatner Day

international talk like william shatner day

Can’t talk…Spanx…too tight.

Today is International Talk Like William Shatner Day (ITLWSD). In 2009, Maurice LaMarche and Doug VanHorn bumped into each other on Facebook while each was attempting to have March 22nd–Shatner’s birthday—designated as ITLWSD. Though initially sworn enemies locked in a Lazarus-like battle over who’d thought of it first, the men eventually joined forces to promote the brash, percussive vocal stylings of Shatner.

If smooth jazz and slam poetry had a baby, then gave him up to be raised in a nunnery next door to the Playboy mansion, the conditions might be right to forge another Shatner-class individual. But in our opinion, it can’t be done. Shatner didn’t just break the mold: he smashed his way out and pulverized it with his pudgy newborn fists. Does any of this describe the man? Is the real Shatner somewhere in that bouquet of imagery? Who knows? That’s the mystery of Shatner. He runs too deep to plumb.

Maurice LaMarche is a voice actor known for his work on Futurama, The Simpsons, Pinky and the Brain, Team America: World Police and Frozen, among many others. If you play Six Degrees of Separation with him, you’ll be done after one. We’ve all heard his voice in something. (Take that, Kevin Bacon.) Mr. VanHorn’s personal Facebook page points out that Donald Trump looks alarmingly similar to an Oompa-Loompa. Look it up; the resemblance is astonishing.

In this inaugural video from 2009, LaMarche sets the stage with a lesson on the basics of talking like Shatner. A few days before the second annual ITLWSD, he and Kevin Pollak impersonate Shatner with lines from Sh*t My Dad Says, a short-lived sitcom.

Leonard Nimoy impersonated Shatner and his Star Trek 2 eulogy: “Of all the souls I have met in my travels, his was the most human.”

Here’s a fantastic standup Shatner bit by Pollak.  Seth MacFarlane does Shatner on Bill Maher’s show.  Watch  John Belushi as Shatner in this classic Saturday Night Live sketch.

Of course, it is his day, too, so we’ll let the birthday boy have the last word.

international talk like william shatner day

Happy birthday, William Shatner! Happy International Talk Like William Shatner Day!

Copyright © 2017 Worldwide Weird Holidays

February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

international dog biscuit appreciation dayToday is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day, also known as National Dog Biscuit Day.

The modern biscuit our dogs know and love owes its existence to Ohio electrician James Spratt. It gets its international pedigree because he got the idea while on a trip to London around 1860, where he reportedly saw sailors who’d just docked throwing leftover hardtack overboard to stray dogs on the pier, who gobbled it up.

Hardtack derives from British sailors’ slang term for food, tack. Cheap and long-lasting, made from flour, water and salt, it was eaten when fresh food was unavailable, especially on extended 0cean voyages and military campaigns. It was called by other names as well: pilot bread, ship’s bread, sea biscuits, molar breakers and worm castles, due to frequent infestations which necessitated dropping a piece into hot coffee, then skimming off the insects which floated to the top.

Spratt was already a successful American businessman who had patented a type of lightning rod. While in London to sell them, he seized upon the opportunity to create and dominate a lucrative market that would target wealthy owners of sporting dogs. He formulated his dog biscuits with fresher ingredients than sailors and soldiers enjoyed: meat, vegetables and wheat.

He opinternational dog biscuit dayened a factory there and began an unprecedented advertising campaign, using large colored billboard displays which depicted a Native American buffalo hunt, implying it was the source of the meat in “Spratt’s Patent Meat-Fibrine.” The true origin remained a closely guarded secret; after selling the company, Spratt retained the sole contract to supply meat for the dog biscuits until his death in 1880.

In 1876, he supplied free food to exhibitors at the Centennial International Exposition in Philadelphia, PA, the second World’s Fair held in the United States. The same year, he filed U.S. Patent #3864 for Spratt’s “Meat-Fibrine Dog Cakes or Biscuits…a square interspersed with punctures, with a St. Andrew’s Cross between the words ‘Spratt’s Patent,’ impressed in the center of the square.”

Spratt’s dominated the market until the early 1900’s when a biscuit made of waste milk from slaughterhouses and fashioned into the shape of a bone rose to prominence. It eventually became known as Milk-Bone and captured the imagination of dog owners everywhere. In 1931, the National Biscuit Company, now known as Nabisco, bought the formula.

In recent years, as health problems caused by obesity have become more prevalent due to a rich diet, dog treat and food formulas have evolved and more nutritious options are available. There’s no doubt that dog biscuits have come a long way and deserve a little recognition. So give your pooch a big hug and have a happy International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day!

Copyright © 2017 Worldwide Weird Holidays

Ice Cream for Breakfast Day

ice cream for breakfast dayToday is Ice Cream for Breakfast Day, a holiday invented in 1966 by a mother desperate to amuse her children while they were snowed in during a blizzard in Rochester, NY. Unsurprisingly, it was a hit. Since then, its popularity has grown exponentially, circling the globe.

As Florence Rappaport explained to the Washington Post in 2004, “It was cold and snowy and the kids were complaining that it was too cold to do anything. So I just said, ‘Let’s have ice cream for breakfast.'” The next year, they reminded her of the day and the tradition was born.

When her kids grew up, they continued to celebrate with parties at college and word of the holiday spread. Later, their children carried the message while traveling the world. Since then, Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day has been observed in Canada, Peru, Switzerland and Costa Rica.

In 2009, it was featured in the Chinese edition of Cosmopolitan magazine. Israeli newspaper Haaretz reported on it, first in Hebrew in 2013, then in English in 2014. No matter where it occurs, the holiday’s rules are simple.

  1. Eat ice cream
  2. For breakfast
  3. On the first Saturday in February

If you still need inspiration, consider this quote from playwright Thornton Wilder:

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate.

What are you waiting for? Grab a spoon and eat ice cream for breakfast! (Have we mentioned that it’s always breakfast time somewhere and even McDonald’s serves breakfast all day? Breakfast is whenever you decide it is!)

Happy Ice Cream for Breakfast Day!

Copyright © 2017 Worldwide Weird Holidays