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International Joke Day

international joke dayToday is International Joke Day. In 2001, Richard Wiseman enlisted the aid of the British Association for the Advancement of Science (BAAS), founded in 1831 and now known as the British Science Association (BSA), in conducting a yearlong study designed to discover the world’s funniest joke and learn about the psychology of humor.

They created the LaughLab website to enlist the participation of people around the world. Its survey asked each test subject to share their favorite joke, then collected demographic information such as age, sex, and country of residence, and finally asked them to rate a random selection of jokes submitted by others.

To elicit quantifiable results, the survey required all participants to rate the jokes’ funniness using a special “giggleometer” invented specifically for the study.

By the end of the experiment, LaughLab had received more than 40,000 jokes and 1.5 million ratings. After collating the results and taking into account which jokes made men laugh versus women, kids versus adults, and countries versus other countries, Wiseman and the BAAS determined the world’s funniest joke. It was submitted by Gurpal Gosall, a 31-year-old psychiatrist from Manchester, England.

Here it is:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

You can read the full report and download 1,000 (clean) LaughLab jokes. Have a happy International Joke Day! What’s your favorite?

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INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY

international caps lock day

Today is INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, celebrated on June 28 and October 22 each year. Derek Arnold created the unofficial holiday in October 2000 to draw attention to those who abuse the Caps Lock key and, by extension, everyone who receives their emails, texts, and Internet screeds.

Arnold claimed he had a higher purpose in mind, stating:

International Caps Lock Day is in fact a testament to the small mindedness of certain Western individuals: the majority of the world’s population writes in scripts which have no concept of letter casing. Therefore it is advised to laugh at anyone who invokes this day as an excuse to dismiss local typographical conventions: they are simply making an ass out of themselves.

That’s a lofty goal, but we suspect its popularity has more to do with the joy of hitting the Caps Lock key and capitalizing with impunity.

With the rise of the Internet has come the evolution of netiquette, which dictates that writing in capital letters is considered shouting: boorish, rude, and aggressive. Although many protest this reading, it has become an accepted interpretation of the practice.

Why do we celebrate this twice a year? Arnold added the second iteration to honor Billy Mays, the beloved pitchman who spoke exclusively in capital letters, who died on June 28, 2009.

Baptiste Candellier created Caps Lock Day, described as “a useless Google Chrome extension that displays everything in caps lock when it’s caps lock day.” It’s no longer available in the Chrome Web Store, so you’ll have to go the extra mile and actually click on the Caps Lock key. What a drag!

John Haller, another fan of the infomercial king, created the Billy Mays Caps Lock. When you hit the Caps Lock key, you’ll hear Billy Mays say:

“Hi, Billy Mays here!”
“It’ll make your whites, whiter!”
“Order right now and we’ll double the value!” or
“Here’s how to order!”

Or at least you could have. If we all band together, we can lobby Mr. Haller to update that code. There are people on the internet right now who have never experienced Billy’s buzz-saw vocal stylings. This cannot stand!

When we first observed this holiday on October 22, 2015, we had a few niggling observations about capslockday.com*: the site’s HTML listed the title as “internetonal caps lock day home page” and the page itself featured a photo of Billy Mays captioned, “GOOD NIGHT, SWEAT PRINCE.” Arnold also stated he was on SNAPCHET, which we can only assume is a social media network for country western music fans, and pointed out the caps lock key with the description “AT THE BOTTOM, WHERE IT SAY CASP LOCK.”

While we realize that correcting grammar and spelling is considered annoying by many these days, we can’t help but wonder: Why are there two holidays predicated upon the notion of irritating everyone else, yet there is no International Editors’ Day? THAT AIN’T ISN’T RIGHT.

On November 3, 2015, we noticed that the site had been taken down. With the help of the Wayback Machine, we captured the archived version of the page.* The Internet is forever….

CAPSLOCK DAY SITE SCREENGRAB

INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY SCREENGRAB

INTERNATIONAL CAPSLOCK DAY SCREENGRAB

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, EVERYBODY!

We don’t recommend clicking on capslock.com. It now directs people to hookup apps and escort services. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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Heimlich Maneuver Day

June 1st is Heimlich Maneuver Day. You may think you know everything you need to know about this procedure and the man who may or may not have invented it. But, stick around because this one gets weird.

In 1974, the journal Emergency Medicine published Dr. Henry Heimlich’s article about a method to combat choking that has saved countless lives.

heimlich maneuver day 1

At the time, a series of blows to the back was the treatment of choice. Thoracic surgeon Heimlich said he set out to find a better way and realized that when choking, air is trapped in the lungs. When the diaphragm is elevated, the air is compressed and forced out along with the obstruction.

He anesthetized a beagle to the verge of unconsciousness, plugged its throat with a tube, then conducted experiments to find an easy way to get the dog to expel it. After succeeding, he reproduced the result with three other beagles.

Refined for use on humans, his technique entails standing behind the choking person, making a fist below the sternum but above the belly button, and pulling it in and up to dislodge the blockage.

In 1976, the Heimlich maneuver became a secondary procedure to be used only if back blows were unsuccessful. In 1986, the American Heart Association (AHA) revised its guidelines, recommending the Heimlich maneuver as the primary option for rescuers.

heimlich maneuver day

Heimlich was a fierce proponent of using the procedure to rescue drowning victims, but the AHA warns it can lead to vomiting, aspiration pneumonia, and death.

But his most controversial theory is “malariotherapy,” the practice of infecting a patient with malaria to treat another ailment. Although he had no expertise in oncology, Heimlich was convinced it could treat cancer.

In 1987, after the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) refused to supply him with infected blood, he went to Mexico City and convinced the Mexican National Cancer Institute (MNCI) to allow him to treat five patients with malariotherapy. Four of the patients died within a year. The project was abandoned with no follow-up studies.

In 1990, The New England Journal of Medicine published Heimlich’s letter proposing malariotherapy as a treatment for Lyme disease. Before long, sufferers around the world began to ask for the treatment. But lack of supporting evidence and poor patient reviews spelled the end of the exercise.

Within a few years, he decided it could tackle AIDS. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute for Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), labeled the idea “quite dangerous and scientifically unsound.” However, Heimlich was able to secure financing from Hollywood donors and establish a clinic in China.

In 1994, his Heimlich Institute paid four Chinese doctors between $5,000 and $10,000 per patient to inject at least eight HIV patients with malarial blood. At the 1996 International Conference on AIDS, he announced that in two Chinese patients, CD4 counts that decrease as HIV progresses to AIDS, had increased after malariotherapy and remained elevated two years later.

When experts reviewed the studies, they found that the test used by Chinese doctors to measure CD4 levels was notoriously unreliable, rendering the results useless. Heimlich pressed on, but this time had a difficult time finding sponsors.

In 2005, Heimlich determined that a rebranding was in order. Reasoning that the word “malaria” might scare people off, he changed the name to “immunotherapy.” When speaking to a journalist, he refused to disclose the exact location of his latest clinical trial in Africa. Due to its ethically dubious practice of initially denying treatment for malaria, the study had been conducted without governmental permission.

That same year, the AHA undertook a de-branding effort: its guidelines no longer refer to the Heimlich maneuver by name. It is now simply referred to as an “abdominal thrust.” Since 2002, Heimlich’s son Peter has worked to pierce the myth surrounding his father, labeling him a fraud and exposing alleged human rights abuses, including experimentation on unwitting people in violation of international ethical standards regarding informed consent.

On Monday, May 23, 2016, the 96-year-old reportedly performed his maneuver on 80-year-old Patty Ris, a fellow resident at Deupree House, a senior living community in Cincinnati, Ohio. He told a reporter it was the first time he’d used his invention to save a life. (In 2003, he told BBC Online News that he’d saved someone at a restaurant three years earlier.) While many news outlets reported it as fact, some came to question its veracity.

While it’s an understatement to say that Dr. Henry Heimlich was a complex and problematic individual, there is no denying that he created a life-saving procedure. Unless he didn’t. According to emergency room physician Edward Patrick, he helped develop the maneuver before Heimlich took sole credit and slapped his name on it.

Patrick’s backstory is bizarre, including a possible scam involving “saving” a girl from drowning to help Heimlich convince the AHA to recommend it. (As mentioned earlier in the post, AHA rejected it. And in reality, the girl slipped into a coma and died four months later.)  We’re not saying any of this is true, of course. Along with every other allegation, Patrick is allegedly quite litigious.

However you decide to celebrate it, have a happy day free of the need for the Heimlich maneuver!

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May 22 is World Goth Day

world goth dayToday is World Goth Day, a holiday that celebrates the global influence of the Goth subculture on music, art, literature, and fashion.

Many consider the 1979 release of Bauhaus’ first single, Bela Lugosi’s Dead, to be the genesis of the gothic rock genre, although the word “goth” had been used in a musical context for more than a decade. Bauhaus’ contemporaries include Siouxsie and the Banshees, Joy Division, Killing Joke, and The Cure.

Goth style has evolved from influences like punk’s “anti-fashion” movement and brooding, romantic Victorian mourning clothes. It includes many looks but is most often associated with dark clothing, black hair, and extreme facial pallor.

In October 2005, after the opening of Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, the New York Times noted:

The costumes and ornaments are a glamorous cover for the genre’s somber themes. In the world of Goth, nature itself lurks as a malign protagonist, causing flesh to rot, rivers to flood, monuments to crumble and women to turn into slatterns, their hair streaming and lipstick askew.

A shout-out from the Gray Lady is impressive, even when it gets things wrong. (Slatterns? You wish!) Influences credited for the rise of Goth include movies from Blade Runner to Beetlejuice, artists from H.R. Giger to Salvador Dali, and authors from Mary Shelley to Anne Rice. Punk, New Wave, metal, vampire stories, and horror films have all contributed to or benefited from Goth culture.

U.K. deejays DJ Cruel Britannia and martin oldgoth (a lowercase rebel) created World Goth Day in 2009, when BBC 6 radio station ran a day of Goth programming. Brittania wrote of the idea, “I got it into my head that Goth Day was a good enough excuse to encourage goths to have their own Goth ‘Public Holiday’, so to speak, and celebrate what goth means to them in either their musical tastes, the books they read, or whatever part it plays in their darkly-inclined lifestyle.”

In 2015, World Goth Day was immortalized on Angry Birds Seasons The Pig Days Level 4-1. We don’t know what that pile of words means, but the walkthrough looks fun. Some might find its mix of bats, jack-o-lanterns, and ankh symbols offensive, but every goth or punk we’ve met has had a great, if dark, sense of humor. (Except for one. We’re talking to you, Vyvyan.)

For information on events happening near you and other good stuff, head to the holiday’s official website.  In 2016, South African band Terminatryx offered a free download of its track SleepWalkers, remixed by iRONic. The song will set you back less than a dollar, but we recommend springing for the whole album. We’re partial to CONsume, remixed by Martin Degville of Sigue Sigue Sputnik. We know, we know: our Eighties are showing!

Happy World Goth Day!

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