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June 4 is Old Maid’s Day

June 4, 2025/0 Comments/in June

Miss Dorothy Babb

Today is Old Maid’s Day. It all began in Denton, TX, when Dorothy Babb, a Latin professor at North Texas State College (NTSC) jokingly complained she was sick of spending money on gifts for weddings, baby showers and Mother’s Day when, as a single woman, she only received presents at Christmas.

The school’s news director wrote an article seeking recognition for women who either couldn’t or wouldn’t get married. The story was picked up by the Associated Press and appeared throughout the country. Denton Mayor Mark Hannah designated August 15th, 1950, as a day to honor unmarried women.

Although ostensibly more flattering names, such as “glamor girls,” “unclaimed jewels,” or “career girls,” were suggested, Miss Babb said she preferred to be called an old maid. She added that anybody who didn’t like the name could “just go and get married.”

The first year’s event included tea at the Denton Country Club, admission to a musical performance, and a screening of the Three Stooges film, “The Brideless Groom.” Gifts were distributed to any unmarried woman who admitted to being an old maid.

By 1953, the famous old maids had received so many gifts from all over the country that they asked folks to send them instead to Girlstown in Whiteface, TX. Knowing they might never have children of their own, the ladies chose to help homeless girls.

In 1954, the celebration included a screening of Gone with the Wind and a telegram from Clark Gable. Pat Boone performed. Babb flew to Chicago to appear on a television show called “Welcome Travelers.” She’d been escorted by motorcade to Love Field, where the college’s saber drill team formed an honor guard as she got on the plane.

The following year, Governor Allan Shivers issued a proclamation affirming August 15th as Old Maid’s Day. Over time, the celebrations grew smaller. The last documented event took place in 1965. In recent years, the practice has been revived by fans of odd holidays and moved to June 4th.

In our research, we have been unable to determine why Old Maid’s Day returned. Perhaps it’s because the expectations of women that the holiday poked fun at 66 years ago haven’t changed much. Maybe the date has been moved forward so single teachers can clean up on gifts before the school year ends. Whatever the reason, have a happy Old Maid’s Day!

February 29 is International Underlings Day

February 29, 2020/1 Comment/in February, Holidays by Month

Feeling a little bored by Leap Day? Fear not: there is another. International Underlings Day was created in 1984 by Peter D. Morris to recognize those not honored by National Boss Day, Administrative Professional Day, Programmers’ Day, Professional Speakers Day, International Working Women’s Day—the list goes on. And on. And on.

Here’s a pop quiz to see if International Underlings Day is tailor-made for you:

Do you sometimes feel like work is a cosmic joke, that the ladder of success has a few broken rungs?

Do you know how everyone else likes their coffee, lunch, and dry cleaning?

Have you ever delivered bagels to a roomful of executives going through trust exercises?

Have you ever felt paralyzed by fear as you watched a coworker get fired for making a paperclip chain? Did you then feel:

a) relief that it wasn’t you
b) shame for feeling relieved
c) resentment that you’re still stuck in your crappy job
d) envy when you imagine that person walking around outside, free

Have you ever quit a job, confident you would never work in such an insane asylum again, only to end up in progressively more horrifying workplaces?

If you answered yes to any or all of the above questions, you might be an underling. Congratulations: you have a day. Unfortunately, but perhaps fittingly, that day falls on February 29th, which occurs once every four years. That makes 2020 only the tenth celebration of this holiday.

Have a happy International Underlings Day. You deserve it. Just don’t expect cake.

Equal Pay Day 2019

April 1, 2019/2 Comments/in April, Holidays by Month

Equal Pay Day was established in 1996 to illustrate how far into the new year a woman must work to earn the same wages that a man, by dint of having been born with a penis, earned in the previous year.

Because Census data isn’t released until later in the year, Equal Pay Day has long been scheduled on the Tuesday in April that falls most closely to the estimated date. Tuesday was chosen to represent the extra day a woman must work to earn what men took home the previous week.

This year, it falls on April 2nd. But don’t get excited, ladies. The Equal Pay Act of 1963, which made it illegal to pay a woman less than a man for the same job and was signed into law by President John F. Kennedy, remains nothing more than a well-intentioned piece of paper with a very valuable autograph.

Three years ago, President Obama declared April 12, 2016 to be National Equal Pay Day. Did you enjoy the raise, the parade, and the day off? Trick question. Nothing changed but adding the word “national.” Now we’re back to good old Equal Pay Day.

That year, President Obama also announced the establishment of the Belmont-Paul Women’s Equality National Monument in the house that had been the headquarters of the National Woman’s Party since 1929. It is named for former Party president Alva Belmont and founder Alice Paul, who played a vital role in the passage and ratification of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women’s right to vote.

When Alice Paul introduced the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) in 1923, she said this regarding the work that had been done since the first women’s rights convention, held in 1848 in Seneca Falls, NY:

If we keep on this way, they will be celebrating the 150th anniversary of the 1848 Convention without being much further advanced in equal rights than we are … If we had not concentrated on the Federal Amendment we should be working today for suffrage … We shall not be safe until the principle of equal rights is written into the framework of our government.

Looking at where we are today, that statement was, sadly, prescient. When Paul died in 1977 at age ninety-two, the ERA was still being debated. Many contend ratification is still possible and continue the fight even though the amendment was “officially” defeated in 1982. Although the ERA never passed, Paul’s language prohibiting discrimination based on gender served as a template for the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

image: fightingwordsdesigns

We have a few suggestions for Equal Pay Day 2019. First, dedicate a space to represent the net worth of legislators’ good intentions to the livelihood of their mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. (Very easy. Just draw a zero.)

Then, demand that Congresspeople explain to children why their future efforts lose value the moment they are born girls. Garnish 21 percent of their wages until they enforce the Equal Pay Act. (They don’t even need to write a law. It’s already on the books.)

Perhaps the best thing we can do is stand up and shout, just keep pointing out how ridiculous it is to discriminate on the basis of plumbing. You know how everyone hates it when we’re shrill.

Until we succeed, have an angry Equal Pay Day!

April 28 is National Cubicle Day

April 28, 2017/0 Comments/in April

Today is National Cubicle Day. Technically, it isn’t a “national” holiday, having never been decreed by Congress and the president. Then again, none of them work in cubicles, so what do they know?

The first cubicle was introduced by furniture company Herman Miller in 1968. Robert Propst designed the “Action Office” as an alternative to working in open areas, often called bullpens. It had flexible configurations with partitions to pin up current projects and provide privacy, lots of desk space and varying desk heights so people could spend some of their time standing up to keep their circulation flowing.

In the real world, Propst’s partitions, meant as building blocks for various layouts, were used to reduce each workspace to the smallest footprint possible to cram even more people into a room. The standing desk detail was abandoned, although it sounds like a good way for a boss to keep an eye out for any slackers trying to take a walk on the company’s dime.

If it ever becomes legal to catheterize a workforce, we’re confident that proximity fences and shock collars will become standard employee retention features of “systems furniture” design. (Eventually, someone will realize folks need to be hydrated and add a hamster-style water bottle to one corner.) Maybe Jon Sanderson had that in mind when he pulled this incredible April Fool’s Day prank on his coworker:

photo: the Chive

Here are a few more cubicles that almost make us want to work in one. Almost. This one is great, but you can’t see that the key to the restroom is attached to the rim: