weird and wacky holidays happening in May

May 10 is Clean Up Your Room Day

clean up your room dayToday is Clean Up Your Room Day. Our research into this so-called holiday has failed to uncover its inventor. We’re willing to bet it was devised by a clean person to pummel a messy one.

The concept of “spring cleaning” is nothing new. In the days before electricity, people burned wood for heat and used oil lamps for light. With their houses closed against the cold of winter, soot accumulated on surfaces. On the first warm day of spring, families would open their windows and doors to let fresh air in, then dust, mop, beat rugs, and scrub walls.

Technically, Clean Up Your Room Day occurs more than halfway through the traditional spring season in the Northern Hemisphere. (It’s autumn in the Southern Hemisphere.) But that’s no excuse to avoid rolling up your sleeves. Put stuff away. Make a pile of donations and feel good knowing someone else will enjoy the things you pass on. Now, the hard part: dust, vacuum, and mop. You have our permission not to scrub the walls.

After you discover how wonderful it is to have a clean room, the instigator will extract a promise to keep it that way. Taking bets on how long it will take to abandon efforts and return to your slovenly ways is best done in secret, especially if the neatnik in question is your mother, who has the power to ground you, revoke privileges, and generally make your life a living hell. In this case, we assume you’re a teenager. If you’re over, say, 30, and still living at home, you may be the thing that needs to be cleaned out of your room.

Happy Clean Up Your Room Day!

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May 9 is Vast Wasteland Day

vast wasteland dayToday is Vast Wasteland Day. On May 9, 1961, Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Chair Newton Norman Minow gave a speech at the National Association of Broadcasters convention, chastising television programmers for their failure to serve the public interest.

First, a little backstory on Mr. Minow is in order. He was born in Milwaukee, WI, on January 17, 1926. He served in the U.S. Army during World War II, earned a law degree in 1950, then spent a year as a clerk for U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Fred M. Vinson.

The following year, he was hired by Adlai Stevenson, worked on the Illinois governor’s two presidential campaigns, and became a partner in his law firm. He campaigned for John F. Kennedy before the 1960 election. In 1961, President Kennedy appointed Minow as the chair of the FCC.

Now we’re caught up to May 9, 1961, when he said this:

When television is good, nothing — not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers — nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite each of you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there for a day without a book, without a magazine, without a newspaper, without a profit and loss sheet or a rating book to distract you. Keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that what you will observe is a vast wasteland.

You will see a procession of game shows, formula comedies about totally unbelievable families, blood and thunder, mayhem, violence, sadism, murder, western bad men, western good men, private eyes, gangsters, more violence, and cartoons. And endlessly, commercials — many screaming, cajoling, and offending. And most of all, boredom. True, you’ll see a few things you will enjoy. But they will be very, very few. And if you think I exaggerate, I only ask you to try it.

The dated reference to stations signing off will be familiar to anyone old enough to remember the image of an American flag billowing to the strains of the national anthem, followed by a test pattern or color bars. Or to those who woke up on the couch to the sound of static, bathed in the glow of the spooky, Poltergeist-y snow that instantly made you feel there was someone waiting in the shadows, brandishing an axe.

Other than that, the speech could be given today. It would probably be met with a resounding, “So what?” rather than the ire that occurred in 1961. It was considered by many to be an elitist attack on programmers and viewers who enjoyed lowbrow or escapist fare.

Fun Fact: The writers of the 1964-1967 TV series Gilligan’s Island named the tour boat that ran aground the S.S. Minnow as a sarcastic reference to his name.

Minow doesn’t seem to mind. When asked in an interview by NPR what he considered his most valuable contribution, he mentioned convincing Congress to pass laws that paved the way for communications satellites. He recalled telling President Kennedy, “Communications satellites will be much more important than sending man into space, because they will send ideas into space. Ideas last longer than men.”

Until his death at 97 on May 6, 2023, nearly 62 years to the day after his “vast wasteland” speech, Minow still influenced communications-related law as senior counsel at Chicago-based law firm Sidley Austin LLP.  In 1988, he recruited Barack Obama to work there as a summer associate, where he met his future wife, Michelle Robinson. He supported Obama’s campaign for the presidency and for reelection.

He received 12 honorary degrees, sat on too many boards to mention here, wrote four books, funded Sesame Street, and co-sponsored the Digital Promise Project, which uses the Internet to further education. He also served as Honorary Consul General of the Republic of Singapore.

If we’d gotten the chance to meet Mr. Minow, we would have been sorely tempted to ask him a question solely to see his reaction. Imagine his facial expression if we’d asked what he thought of the Kardashians?

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May 8 is Have a Coke Day

have a coke day

John S. Pemberton

Today is Have a Coke Day. The first glass was sold for five cents at Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta, GA, on May 8, 1886. The story of one of the most popular beverages on Earth began at the end of the American Civil War.

Confederate officer and Freemason John Stith Pemberton was slashed across the chest by a Union soldier’s saber and treated with morphine, to which he became addicted. When he returned after the war to his job as a druggist, he became obsessed with finding a substitute.

In 1885, he formulated French Wine Coca, using coca leaves and caffeine-rich kola nuts. When the mixture of cocaine and alcohol was ingested, it created a third substance called cocaethylene, which heightened the euphoria experienced from the use of cocaine alone. This may be the first successful attempt to “tighten the buzz.”

But Pemberton didn’t invent the drink himself; he used the two-year-old formula of a Parisian chemist named Angelo Mariani, whose Vin Mariani was so beloved that Pope Leo XIII awarded him a gold medal.

Pemberton marketed his version as a nerve tonic ideal for “scientists, scholars, poets, divines, lawyers, physicians, and others devoted to extreme mental exertion” as well as “a most wonderful invigorator of the sexual organs” and a cure for morphine addiction.

When early prohibition laws were passed in Atlanta, he removed the alcohol and developed Coca-Cola as a patent medicine to be mixed at pharmacy soda fountains, which were popular because of the belief that carbonated water was good for health.

Not long after Coca-Cola’s debut, Pemberton became ill. Ironically, he was nearly bankrupt due to the high cost of his ongoing morphine addiction; as a result, he began to sell the rights to his formula but tried to retain a share of ownership to pass on to his son, Charles. But his son wanted the money instead, so they sold what was left to business partner Asa Candler for $300.

John Pemberton died of stomach cancer on August 16, 1888, at age 57. Charles attempted to sell and popularize an alternative to his father’s formula but died six years later of opium addiction.

So, happy Have a Coke Day . . . I guess?

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May 4 is Star Wars Day

star wars day

artwork: starwarz.com

Today is Star Wars Day. Its date is a play on words referencing the line, “May the Force be with you.” “May the fourth be with you” has become a rallying cry for fans.

It was inaugurated on May 4, 2011, at the Toronto Underground Cinema in Canada and has quickly spread around the world. Festivities include costume and trivia contests, Internet tributes, mashups, and parodies.

Disney purchased Lucasfilm from its owner (and Star Wars creator) George Lucas in late 2012. Since May 4, 2013, the company has observed the holiday with events at Disney World and Disneyland. Today, Disney’s Star Wars homepage links to numerous purveyors of officially licensed merchandise, from Grogu rings [at presstime, its link is broken, but you can order them at Baublebar] to furniture. Yes, you can cosplay your entire bedroom . . . if you have enough credits, that is.

If you’ve missed today’s celebrations or want to extend them 24 hours, you’re in luck. There is another. A new Star Wars holiday has arisen, this one from the pun “revenge of the fifth.” (By the way, on May 4, 2015, on the International Space Station, astronauts watched Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. That got us thinking: Is there any distance great enough from which Hayden Christensen’s performance looks good?)

But wait, there’s more! In 2007, the Los Angeles City Council declared May 25th Star Wars Day to honor the 30th anniversary of the original movie’s release date. Diehard fans will take any excuse to celebrate. It puts us one day closer to the next installment.

Happy Star Wars Day(s), everybody!

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