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Santa’s List Day

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Santa's List DayToday is Santa’s List Day. According to legend, it’s the day when Kris Kringle finalizes his list, double-checks it for accuracy, and puts the elves to work manufacturing gifts for children who’ve toed the line of acceptable behavior within their age groups.

Times have changed at the North Pole. Nowadays, many parents and mental health specialists view “naughtiness” as a label that is damaging to a child’s self-esteem. As a result, elves must crank out even more toys as lumps of coal gather dust in a nearby warehouse. (Santa’s workshop runs on solar power.)

Even the most well-behaved child might take the news that Santa has locked in his list as a sign that anything goes for the next three weeks. It’s a risky move; although Santa has refused to grant journalists access, it’s quite possible that he employs tech-savvy elves who scan social media and halt the assembly line in cases of egregious misconduct.

There’s no way to know if workers are capable of making the latest Xbox. Unlike most sweatshop labor forces, elves have 11 months of the year to learn to make new things. Hopefully, they get a little time to relax and sip a mai tai at a resort that caters to diminutive people. (Keebler Beach, perhaps?)

If the workshop sources more complex items from Amazon, as everyone else does, the turnaround time is shortened and, theoretically, bad behavior can be punished on short notice. In the age of Amazon Prime’s free shipping service, will Santa shut down operations and put the reindeer out to pasture?

With Arctic ice melting at an alarming rate, it won’t be long before elves implement a Kickstarter campaign to buy a houseboat for Santa. Just for today, kids can show their appreciation for Santa’s dedication by being good to the extent required of them. Those expecting a big item like a computer or a drone should consider holding off on melting Barbies or setting the family hamster on fire until December 26th.

Happy Santa’s List Day!

#buyahouseboatforSanta

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Make a Gift Day

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Today is Make a Gift Day. The holidays are nearly here; time is running out. Save your cash and make something by hand. It’s fun to do, and a homemade gift will mean much more to your loved ones than something you buy in a store.

Here are seven ideas to get you started. (And be sure to make enough to keep some for yourself!)

  1. Peppermint Coconut Soap
  2. Coffee Sugar Scrub
  3. Upcycled Jewelry Magnets
  4. All-Purpose Spice Rub
  5. Flavored and Colored Sugar
  6. Punk Rock Cookie Jar Mix
  7. Lavender Bath Bombs

Or write a poem: it doesn’t have to be good.

Happy Make a Gift Day!

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Pins and Needles Day

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Pins and Needles DayToday is Pins and Needles Day, but it has nothing to do with anxiety, diabetic neuropathy, or the creepy sensation you get after sleeping all night on your arm. On November 27, 1937, musical revue Pins and Needles opened on Broadway in New York City.

Comprised of skits lampooning fascist dictators and their sympathizers, bigoted Daughters of the American Revolution, anti-labor groups, and advertising agencies, among many others, the play was performed by members of the International Ladies’ Garment Workers’ Union, which was on strike at the time.

It became such a hit that the schedule was expanded and the players quit their day jobs to act in it full-time. New skits and songs were added periodically to keep the show topical. It closed on June 22, 1940, after 1,108 performances.

In 1962, Columbia Records released a studio recording of the show’s score to commemorate its 25th anniversary. Five songs featured newcomer Barbra Streisand. The recording was digitally restored and remastered for CD release in 1993.

A revival ran for 225 shows in 1978. London’s Cock Tavern Theater mounted a production in November and December of 2010. In 2016, New York University staged an updated production of Pins and Needles, casting students who were roughly the same age as the original performers had been.

This play, which first entertained audiences in 1937, has come back many times, perhaps to remind us of the enduring spirit of satire and its important role in society. We’re certainly reminded that its themes remain topical. Have a fun-filled and happy Pins and Needles Day!

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D.B. Cooper Day

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DB Cooper DayOn November 24, 1971, a man who identified himself as Dan Cooper boarded a Northwest Airlines flight from Portland, Oregon, to Seattle, Washington. He was wearing a suit, had no discernible accent, drank bourbon and soda, and smoked several cigarettes. He also handed a flight attendant an exceedingly polite note informing her he had a bomb and intended to hijack the plane.

He then held the passengers and crew hostage while he negotiated with the FBI, demanding $200,000 in $20 bills and four parachutes. Upon landing, the ransom and parachutes were delivered, and Cooper released the passengers. Three pilots and a flight attendant remained on board and took off from Seattle, with instructions for all to stay in the cockpit and maintain a low airspeed and an altitude of 10,000 feet.

About 45 minutes after takeoff, a light went on in the cockpit to indicate that the rear stairs had been lowered. When the plane landed with the stairs down, the FBI found two parachutes and, on Cooper’s seat, a black clip-on tie. It was assumed Cooper had jumped. We call it an assumption only because the mystery surrounding what followed calls everything into question.

Cooper was never found, despite intense searches by ground and air. For all anyone knew, he might’ve tossed out the money, dropped the chutes, and fallen into the talons of a giant bird of prey. None of the money has been spent. (It was marked.) In 1980, three bundles of bills totaling $5,800 were discovered under a couple of inches of sand on the Columbia River. The serial numbers matched those on the ransom money.

To this day, theories abound, but no other confirmed evidence exists. Would “Dan Cooper” be annoyed or amused that, after police interviewed a man named D.B. Cooper in the early days of the investigation, the press and public have misidentified him ever since?

Over time, the unanswered questions about this case have obscured the fact that the man was a hijacker, turning him into something of a folk hero. The legend of the well-spoken man who robbed the government and vanished into thin air fires the imagination. Is he sipping mai-tais on a beach somewhere? Is he drinking a coffee next to us in a diner?

New people are introduced to the story every year. A popular theory that the series Mad Men would end with Don Draper becoming D.B. Cooper turned out to be completely wrong, but only added to the myth’s allure. Will we ever find out what really happened? Probably not, but we’ll always have the legend of (Dan) D.B. Cooper.

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